Finding A Friend In Isolation

I am the wife of a wonderful husband of 12 yrs. I am 39 and happy with where I live and with my marriage. The problem is that we moved here 12 yrs ago and I have yet been able to make a friend. We have tried 3 different churches and the people here are very "grouped up". They have lived here their entire lives or they are related. New people don't fit in. We live in a rural community and I have yet to meet a woman of my age who does not work. The women here are just to busy with work, husbands and children. Fitting in a new relationship doesn't seem to be on their mind. My husband and I made the choice that I would stay at home. So I don't have the work environment option. He is a firefighter and with his schedule he is at home most of the time and finding a job would mean that we would not see much of each other and he would be home alone. We have a great relationship and work well together. (We are constantly busy doing something). I feel isolated here and my heart aches for a friend or a couple. Growing up my family was constantly on the move (military) and we never lived long enough anywhere to make close friends. Another issue is that I had a beautiful, sweet little boy with my first husband. At the age 5 he died from cancer. I have heard women whisper I can't be her friend -what would I say to her. But I am not sensitive about this. I know where my son is. I am just like any other woman. I laugh, love and yes I sometimes even cry. So tell me what's my options - is there a friend out there for someone like me? Don't get me wrong. I married my best friend but sometimes a woman just needs a woman to talk to.

Lynne

Girlfriends' In Christ Mentor's Response:

Please read
Rebecca Bradley's Response
Sandy Denton's Response

Finding A New Church

I was wondering if someone could give me some guidelines about how to find a church. Right now, I attend my parents' church, but I don't believe that it's meeting my needs. I know that church is not a "social club," but it is important that a single woman not feel out of place in a church that consists relatively of married couples who have families. I also feel that my spiritual needs are not being met there. The church is small, and because it's mainly made up of older folk, it seems that they're really set in their ways. They don't seem to want to "move forward" in their faith. What I mean is, they don't seem on 'fire' for God about winning people to the Lord, and they don't seem to carry a VISION of DOING SOMETHING to get into their own building. The ones who are my age are married, except for one, and then it's hard for me to confide in someone who's younger than me, and who is a very young Christian. I know that the apostle Paul said that it was good to be "unmarried," because you can then have "undistracted devotion to the Lord." Being around married people, who are caught up in the everyday "worldly" stuff- buying clothes, looking nice, etc. and caring about the stuff that married people think about, which makes it hard to have conversation with them , and around someone younger than me who is caught up in the same things - I don't have anything in common with them. I'm not being proud, I'm being honest. How does one go looking for a church that has a healthy variety of people who are from ALL walks of life: single, married, divorced, widowed, young children, teens, etc., esp. of the same kind of faith background as I? What would you suggest? Thank you.



Jessica,
Washington

Girlfriends' In Christ Mentor's Response:

Please read
Rebecca Bradley's Response
Sandy Denton's Response